Have you ever wondered the
REAl reason why moms need time for themselves???
…Or why we get resentful toward our partner because they get to leave the house to go to work every day?
And why we walk every aisle when we get the chance to go grocery shopping alone?
While the answers to these questions may throw us into a mom-rant that could rival the drama on an episode of The Kardashians and often include phrases like:
Because they get to leave the house and be around cool adults all day while I do ALL of the feedings and diapers and laundry and dinners…
Because I hate all the people in my house and a trip to the grocery store is less expensive than a trip to Mexico (sometimes).
But let’s not stop there…
Though we enjoy the solidarity that these answers conjure up at the park amongst our closest mom friends…Here’s the real reason why moms need time for themselves…
The real reason we feel these things is not because we are jealous or resentful or because we hate our families.
It’s simply because we have a need to find some sort of balance.
Under all that resentment and aisle walking is the desire to feel some connection to the world outside of motherhood.
Does that sound terrible?
At first, you may think so, but I’m saying it anyway.
Because here’s the thing…I remember how lonely that feeling made me feel.
I remember wondering if there was something wrong with me…if I was a bad mom.
But it turns out I wasn’t alone. I’m not a bad mom, and it’s completely normal.
I want you to know that if you’re feeling that feeling, you aren’t alone either.
It doesn’t matter if you are a SAHM or a Working Mom or a mom who rocks a side-hustle.
At some point after becoming a mother, women often find themselves feeling the desire to be more than just a mom.
After all, before diaper changes and snack times and playdates and carpools, you were a person…
You had lots of different parts of self that made you into an individual…
Then you had a baby and you were thrown
The first couple of years of
This stuff is hard.
And having these feelings doesn’t mean you are a bad mom…
After all, you love your little loin-fruit more than you ever imagined you could…
Yet something inside of you…your personhood…calls out for a balance of knowing more than just the title of mom.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the mom that works full-time…it’s hard.
Or the mom that stays at home full-time…it’s also hard.
The truth is that there is nothing easy about the path that we’ve chosen (except for hugs…those are easy).
But no matter how UNeasy it is, it’s super important to make sure we hold onto our personhood while walking through motherhood.
Because here’s the truth…one day your little birdies will leave the nest…
And when that happens, you need to know who you are.
So listen up, Momma…
Tune into yourself.
It’s amazing what happens when we allow ourselves to look at motherhood, not as a chore, but as a joy.
And the only way that can happen is through self-care…by knowing where you are and what you need and by making sure your cup is full.
Because when your cup is full, that means you are able to pour into the ones who need you most.
Don’t ignore the empty tank light flashing on your proverbial dashboard.
It isn’t honorable. What’s honorable is honoring who you are and what you need.
Do not push down your need for personhood within motherhood.
Understand that paying attention to what you need doesn’t mean neglecting your babies…it just means not neglecting yourself.
When you make this a habit, you’ll suddenly look back and realize that you aren’t resentful of your partner’s work days…
Or angry when your kid wakes up from nap time…
You won’t fantasize about solo trips through aisle 12…
Or be at your wit’s. end. all. of. the. time.
So honor yourself.
Fill your cup, momma.
You deserve it…and so do they.
First time here?
Let me just say that we’re so glad you stopped by! If this is your first time here, welcome. You’ll find great content on SELF-CARE, PARENTING, RELATIONSHIPS & MARRIAGE and more. THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO START.