When the Tricks Don’t Work on Your Kids

I remember reading a blog post when my girls were younger called How to Keep Your Kids from Interrupting.

I was so excited when I read the title that I immediately clicked and started frantically reading.

At that point, I had a 2-year-old and 4-year-old.

Now, if you have kids and have ever attempted having a conversation with anyone, then you know precisely why I was thrilled.

In related news, if you don’t like talking to people, having little kids is the fastest way to prevent 100% of adult conversations from happening. 😜

But on the off chance that you WANT to talk to someone about more than sippy refills and when the next snack will be served, then this phenomenon can be MADDENING!

You’ve been there, too, right?

So anyway, back to the story…

How to Keep Your Kids from Interrupting.

I clicked…I read…I tried.

It was a well-written article with some pretty great ideas.  And though it was years ago, and I have no memory of who wrote it, you’ve probably pinned something similar…

It went like this:

To teach your kids to stop interrupting, you tell them that when they need your attention but see that you are already talking, then they are to place their hand on your arm to signal that they need a turn.  Then you touch their hand in acknowledgment of their request and get to them at your earliest availability.

I have to tell you.  It made perfect sense to me.  And because it spoke directly to my pain, I thought this woman was a parenting genius!  I couldn’t wait to try her tip!!

So I explained it to my girls…

They seemed to understand the concept and we practiced it together.  I was feeling pretty great about my mom skills. 😎

I was riding that high until Matt came home that evening and we were attempting to have a conversation…

Sure enough, those little stinkers acted like they had never heard the concept of not interrupting ever in their lives!  

WTH??  

The mom blogger didn’t say that would happen!

She said it worked like a charm for her little people…

SO WHY DIDN’T IT WORK FOR MINE???  

WERE MY LITTLE PEOPLE BROKEN????  

WAS I BROKEN????!!

I sure felt broken…But I kept trying…

Kept practicing…

Kept being frustrated over unfinished conversations…

It was the stuff you dream of as a parent.  True fun, I tell you. 😳

Matt and I enjoyed it so much that we decided we should create two more little humans so that we would never have to talk to each other again. Haha!

Seriously though, I’m writing this because I have spent hours and hours reading all the tricks.  I’ve scoured the internet and read tons of parenting books trying to find what actually “works.”

And it wasn’t until much later in my mom journey that I realized something…

It is something that I wish I would’ve known in those early days of motherhood.

THERE IS ONLY ONE SECRET TO PARENTING:

Getting good takes time.

Think about it.  Our sweet babies come out all cute and sweet, but (and I say this in the most loving way) they’re little dummies.  They don’t know anything yet.  

And as new parents, guess what?  We’re dummies, too.  

Not only do we have to learn as we go, but we also have the immense responsibility of teaching our tiny babes to be amazing humans along the way.

Mommin’ ain’t easy, y’all.  

Teaching kids to be great takes LOTS of time and LOADS of consistency.  

That means we will be teaching them the same things OVER AND OVER AND OVER.  

And just because they don’t get it right the first time doesn’t mean that they are being “bad.”

It means they are still learning.

And often they aren’t going to get it right for a loooooooooong time.  

We just have to remind ourselves that they are still learning brand new skills at which we’ve had DECADES of practice.

Take interrupting, for example.  

I expected that other mom’s great cure to work on my kids who were not yet old enough to understand things like conversational trends and social cues…and they definitely weren’t going to get it after one time (or maybe even after a hundred times) of practicing.

And they definitely weren’t going to get it after one time (or maybe even after a hundred times) of practicing.

I know this isn’t the typical blog post.  

It isn’t a new step-by-step plan to put into practice or a pretty chart to follow.  

But it is something EXTREMELY VALUABLE.

It is the FOUNDATION that you need at the beginning of your journey to be able to parent those babies better.

By knowing that it will take them years to become the person that you are hoping they will become, you will save yourself lots of tears and self-criticizing thoughts.

Remember, it takes a person approximately 10,000 hours to master something.

That is a lot of hours for you to get good at Mommin’, my friend.  

And it’s also a lot of hours for your kiddo to learn the things you want them to know…like how not to interrupt, how to get good at a bedtime routine, how to clean up after themselves, and how to be a good human with appropriate behavior.

So next time you find yourself frustrated because the “tricks” don’t work for your kids, just remember that they aren’t broken and neither are you.  

It just takes loads of time develop greatness.

As long as you keep at it, you’ll be FABulous and so will they.  

In the meantime, memorize this phrase, “We’re working on it.”

Now make sure that you share this with a Momma who could use a reminder that she isn’t broken.  

Like I said, Mommin’ ain’t easy, and we could all use a little encouragement, so don’t keep this to yourself.

I’m so glad that you’re here. 🙂

And until next time,

Could you use some more encouragement?

Then become #oneFABmother today!

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